If Only He Knew
by darkmoonvampire
Summary: Alicia's reflection on the destruction of the world, her role in it and a certain resistance leader. She wants to tell him so much but is unable to do so. Complete. AliciaxMaxwell.


If Only He Knew:

Alicia can't help but think that if only Maxwell knew the truth then he wouldn't see her as the saviour he deeply believed she was. No, he would think her a monster, a she-demon that caused the destruction of the life he used to live.

If only he knew that her father had created the portal that allowed the demons into this world; to simply see his precious dead daughter brought back to life again.

However she doesn't tell him that truth, no she simply listens to him and responds in short answers in relation to their next battle plan. Some part of her wants to yell at him and call him a fool for not being able to see the obviousness that she is the sole cause of the end of life on Earth, but another part of her never wants him to find out, so she can continue living in this desolate world along with him.

If only he knew that she didn't hate her father for bringing her back to life, that in some ways she was glad to be back, even if the world is broken and near impossible to repair.

Maxwell calls her the shining light of hope for every surviving human, he truly believes that she's a miracle sent to save them in their greatest time of need. It's true she has been sent to save them but it's not for the reason he believes. She's no angel sent from god to send the demons back into hell. No she's been ripped away from the otherworld and her body has been tainted with demonic powers and now she must stop the annihilation of the human race in order to redeem herself for her beloved father's desperate and selfish needs.

If only he knew that slowly she dies a little inside everyday and she's not sure how much longer she can go on for, as much as she's glad she' alive, she knows she should be dead and her very life has brought nothing but destruction.

He's always smiling at her and for Alicia can't understand why. Sure she knows he's grateful for her existence and that because of her they have finally turned the tide of battle in their favour. Yet that doesn't explain why he smiles at her so often for no reason, he'll simply smile as she enters a room or comes into view and she's not sure she likes all the attention.

If only he knew that every time he smiled, she wanted to smile too.

He's constantly telling her that he wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her, she's given him and the other survivors a reason to keep on living; because on day the war will be over and the world will be theirs once more.

If only he knew that she too wanted to live in that world but she couldn't as she would return to the otherworld after her redemption and she can rest once again alongside her mother and father.

Alicia believes that Maxwell is a good man and if things were different, then perhaps she could've made him happy and they could've spent their lives together. But in a perfect world they would never have met and if they weren't who they are now then they both would be long dead.

If only he knew that she had started to remember her human emotions and was falling for him.

One day he suddenly blurts out that he cares for her and asks what she thinks of him. She merely says he's a good man and a great leader and if and when this is all over he should get what he deserves; a family that he has lost for so long. She doesn't tell him that she's changed because of him; she gets the feeling that he has already realised this and that's why he's confessed.

If only he knew that she would want nothing more than to live her life by his side. But it will never happen, she was never meant to live a long life, she's merely on borrowed time. Once she's completed her task she will return to her eternal slumber and that secretly she wants to sleep, she's so tired of fighting and wants it all to be over.

Maxwell has finally noticed that she's getting weaker each day as the demons are all nearly gone. He pulls her into his arms and embraces her tightly as if she's his lifeline and if he lets go then it's the end of everything.

"I love you, Alicia." He softly whispers in her ear and strokes her head gently. "Please don't leave me. Promise me you won't leave." His voice cracks as he pleads with her even though he knows it's useless.

She clutches his jacket in her hands and silent tears fall her pale cheeks. Before she knows it, she's telling him everything; her death, her father's actions and her eventual return to the otherworld. Her emotions are getting the best of her, she knows but for once she allows her self to be human in this one moment.

"I know." He says after awhile and kisses her head before wrapping his arms around her even tighter.

She can't believe that he has known the truth all this time and has never hated her, never seen her for the abomination she really is. He has loved her all this time even knowing the truth and has not once ever treated her with harsh words or given her disgusted looks. No he has simply loved her for who she is and never cared about what she is.

If only he knew that she so desperately wanted to tell she loved him as well, that she too wanted to express her overwhelming love for him.

A few weeks later, the last demon is slain and salvation has been delivered upon the entire world. Alicia falls to her knees, her gunrod dissipating into tiny particles and flying away in the cool breeze. Maxwell's eyes widen in horror as realisation dawns on him and he runs to her side and cradles her in his arms.

He his crying freely and doesn't care that everyone else is staring at the scene in front of them. Oddly she doesn't feel any pain, only a numbness that begins to consume her whole body. Darkness has already departed and awaiting her on the other side of the veil of life. Images flash through her mind as she sees both her parents smiling brightly at her as they hold their arms out to welcome her.

Maxwell is begging her to stay with him and feels his heart flinch when he sees her smile a brilliant smile that has never graced her lips till now. Upon seeing this he understands that this is what she truly wants and in the end he his forced to let her go.

"I love you...." She whispers too him and smiles sadly as she raised her arm upward towards the yellow sky and closes her eyes.

"Papa..." Those are her last words she speaks as she's slowly lifted out of Maxwell's arms by an unknown force and her body dissipates into nothingness as her soul reunites with dear mother and father.

If only he knew that Maxwell had given her the love and joy she never expected to experience. She's grateful to him and believes that he has saved her in ways that nothing else possibly could.

If only he knew that she was waiting for him on the other side.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed that. I wrote this as I wondered what would happen after she saved the world and well let me know what you think.


End file.
